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【高中英语教师及高手进,求英语作文点评!广东地区考生,小作文满分15大作文25,请点评给分,1.课外活动时间:每周一三五4-5pm2.活动项目:体育运动、阅读、唱歌、乐器演奏、英语游戏等.3.最受】
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更新时间:2024-04-27 16:22:12
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高中英语教师及高手进,求英语作文点评!

广东地区考生,小作文满分15大作文25,请点评给分,

1.课外活动时间:每周一三五4-5pm

2.活动项目:体育运动、阅读、唱歌、乐器演奏、英语游戏等.

3.最受欢迎的项目:电脑、唱歌、钢琴

4.学生的反应:喜欢该课外活动,能放松心情、校园生活更丰富充实

5.希望和建议:更多课外活动时间,减少作业量.多组织社会实践.

After-classactivitiesareheldfrom4pmto5pmoneveryMonday.WednesdayandFridayinourschool.PhysicalexercisereadingsingingmusicalinstrumentplayingandEnglishgamesareincluded.Themostpopularactivitiesarecomputerssingingandpianos.Theresponsesofthestudentsindicatethattheyliketheseafter-classactivitiesforthereasonthattheycannotonlyrelaxandrefreshtheirmindsbutalsomaketheirschoollifemorewonderful.Weareadvisedthatweshouldspendmoretimetodoafter-classactivitiesandwealsohopethatwecouldletstudentsdolesshomeworkandorganizethemtoparticipateinsocialactivitiesmore.

大作文:1.以30词概括短文内容略)

2.120词谈对“学生的学习错误由谁改正”的看法,包括:1.你是如何看待自己的语言错误.2.你的老师如何对待你的语言错误.3.你对老师的做法持什么看法?为什么?

Howtofaceyourlanguagemistakes?

Thepassagemainlypointsoutthatteachersplayanincorrectroleinchildren'sworkjudgementsandchildrenhavetheabilitiestolearnbythemselves.Thus,childrenshouldcorrecttheirmistakesindependently.

Itremindsmeofmyown.IalwaystriedtocorrectmyownlanguagemistakeswhenIwasachild.ButgraduallyIfoundthatevenaftercorrectionIwasstillwrongbecauseoflackingofexperiencescomparedtotheadults.Consequently,IrealizedthatIshouldalsoaskmyparentsorteachersforhelp.OnlyinthiswaycanIlearntherightlanguageusages.

Asformyteacher,shealwaysgivesmesometipsandletmetrytofigurethemistakesoutbymyselfinsteadofpointthemoutdirectly.I'mapprovalofitbecauseitcanhelpmegainabetterunderstandingofmymistakes.Furthermore,Icannotonlyrealizemyfaultsbutalsoformagoodhabitofsolvingproblemsindependentlythroughthecorrectingprocess.

Inaword,weshouldcombineourownthoughtsandourteachers'helptogetherwhenfacingoutlanguagemistakes.Bydoingso,wewillgraduallyfindthatwehavetheabilitytosolveproblemsbyourownoneday.

郭渊博回答:
  从这两篇作文来看,你的词汇量及句法的运用是不错的.   先说第一篇,提示的信息都已经包括在内了,但是我觉得句子用得有点生硬.给出的信息只是起到提示的作用,不一定要逐字逐句的翻译.比如文中提到“学生的反应:喜欢该课外活动,能放松心情、校园生活更丰富充实”,而且你是以第一人称写的,所以你就是以该校学生的身份在写.Theresponsesofthestudentsindicatethattheyliketheseafter-classactivitiesforthereasonthattheycannotonlyrelaxandrefreshtheirmindsbutalsomaketheirschoollifemorewonderful.就可以改成weenjoytheseafter-classactivitiesbecausetheycannotonlyrelaxandrefreshourmindsbutalsomakeourschoollifemorewonderful.就行了啊,注意文章的人称要保持一致.   PhysicalexercisereadingsingingmusicalinstrumentplayingandEnglishgamesareincluded.这句话也可以改改,就直接用therearephysicalexercise.就可以了,简单,明了.   另外,注意句子与句子直接的连接,可以适当运用一些关联词.   第二篇文章写得不错,文章结构、层次都很好,有一小点错误,insteadof后要加V-ing
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