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【有篇雅思小作文哪位高手帮忙看看能得计分,有错请批评指正(这是剑桥雅思4Text3里的WRITINGTASK1)Thechartappearsthatthedifferentsuitationofpost-schoolwerereachedbymenandwomeninAustraliain1991Formthe】
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更新时间:2024-04-19 23:54:54
问题描述:

有篇雅思小作文哪位高手帮忙看看能得计分,有错请批评指正(这是剑桥雅思4Text3里的WRITINGTASK1)

Thechartappearsthatthedifferentsuitationofpost-schoolwerereachedbymenandwomeninAustraliain1991

Formthegraphic,wecanseethatwomenandmenhavealargeofgapinsomecategories,especiallyinskilledvicationaldiploma,whichhave90%menwhowereapproximately9timesasmuchaswomenin1991.Inundergraduatediploma,howere,thepercentageofwomenweredoubledthanmenwhostoodat40%.Themostsimiliarotiesbetweenthepercentageofwomenandmenholddegree’ssuititioninAustraliaexistsinBachelor’sdegree.Andthen,themenwithpostgraduatediplomaweremorethanwemen,70%and30%respectively.Asthesametime,inMaster’sdegreecategory,numberofwomenlessthanmenwhoattained60%

费栋回答:
  第一句用show更好些suitation比较生僻,是situation?   第二段第一句话graph是名词,并且你一定要注意graph和chart是不一样的第一句应该是inmanycategories还有large本身就是形容词,后面不用跟of.which后应该是has因为你用它代diploma.times是可数,用asmanyas.还有Inundergraduatediploma和however做同一成分,它俩不能并存,可把however放后面些还有thepercentageofwomen?这也不清楚有时间再帮你改...我先睡一觉你要多多加油了
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