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ChildhoodFriends
ThefirsttimeIlostmybestfriend,Ithoughtitwastheendoftheworld.Idon'tmeanthathedied,hejustwentaway,butIstillmeasureallpainbyhowhurtIwaswhenDannyleft.
Iwasblessedwithahappychildhood,onethatmostpeoplewouldwanttohave.WelivedinasmallbungalowinatinyvillageinScotlandandwewereaveryclosefamily.OurneighboursnextdoorhadasonnamedDanny,andwegrewuptogether.
Wespentlongsummereveningsinthepineforests,diggingupwormsforfishing,andcollectingfeathersleftbythebirdsinthecageswheretheyhadbeenkeptforthehunters.ItwasherethatIdiscoveredthatIwasallergictothetinyflieswhichbitmeandmademyfaceswell.Therewereafewwalnuttreesabovethevillageandwewouldchasethesquirrelsawayandwaitforthemtoripen.Ofcourse,itwastoofarnorthforaproperharvest.Onwindydayswe'dslidedownthestonyslopestothelochandfeelthesprayoftheseainourfaces.
Dannywasagoodcarpentertoo,andwemadebroomsoutofbranches,whichwetriedtosellinthevillageshop.Webuiltatreehouse,wherewesmokedourfirstcigar,andIwassick!OnceIslippedonsomedampleaves,fellout,scratchedmyarmsandcuttheheelofmyfoot,sohewashedmywoundsinthestream.Hewasaveryconsiderateboyforsomeonesoyoung.Mymothersimplyscoldedmefortearingmyunderwear.
Wewereongoodtermswitheveryoneinthevillage,andweevengaveasalutetothelocalpolicemanashepassedonhisbicycle.Butinourimagination,hewasanenemysoldier,andweweretwospieslookingforsecrets.
Itwasthefinestfriendshipanyonecouldhave,andlifeseemedperfect.
Andthenattheageof14,hisparentsmovedtoLondon,over400kilometresaway.Thepainwasacute,andIcouldn'tforgiveDannyforleavingme.Ifelthehadbetrayedme.ItwastheworstlossIhaveeverexperienced.
I'mnowbackintouchwithDanny,andit'saprivilegetocallhimmyfriend.We'rebothmuchmorematurenow,andwe'restillveryalike.
ButwhileI'mnostalgicforthehappytimeswespenttogethermanyyearsago,I'mashamedofmyfeelings,andIdon'twanttorewindtherecordingofmylifeandremembermylossandmypain.