我是雅思考生,写作不强,能不能帮忙批改这篇作文,这作文能不能5或5.
13.Foodcanbeproducedcheaperifweuseimprovedfertilizersandbettermachinery.
Question:modernmachineryandadvancedfarmingtechniques,
Howeversomeofmethodsmaybedangerousforhumanhealth.,andhavenegativeeffectsforlocalcommunities.
Whatisyouropinion?
Answer:
ThetechniqueofagriculturalisdevelopingatasurprisingspeedandissolvingtheproblemthatthesituationofLackingoffood.Thedestitutepeoplewillalsohavemorefoodtoeatandmorechoicesoffoodcanreachamostcommonhousehold.Butmeanwhile,manydisadvantagesareappearedtoshowthatmethodsaredangerousforhumanhealth.
Forinstance,foodpoisoningarehappeningeverytimeineachcountry.Clearly,itisaseriousproblemthatweshouldpaycloseattentionwhenwehavethefood(withtheremnantsofchemicalcomposition).especiallysomeoftheContaminatedfoodwilldodeeplyharmfultoyourhealth.
Anotherdisadvantageisalsohappeninginourregion.Thewideuseofmodernmachineryandadvancedfarmingtechniqueswillmakethelaborbetoomuch.Afterwards,theywillcrowdintothetownandbecomingabuildingworker,ababybabysittersandsoforth.Sotheproblemcomes.firstly,thelocalcustomercustomintherehometownwillbelost.Secondly,theyoungchildrenandtheelderlywillbetheFamilyLeftBehind.Mostly,itwillbeagreatmisfortunetothechildwhowillnotgetanytreasurefromthereparents.
Overalls,thereisaconclusionthatsomeofthemethodnotonlybingmuchharmfultoourhealth,butalsogetunwellaffectiontoourlocalcommunitiesandrelatives.butthatisnottosayweshouldreturntothefirsthand.Ontheotherhand,somelawsandregulationsshouldlimittoproblem.thelocalgovernmentmustshoulderthisresponsibility.
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