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【雅思大作文求批改,语法什么的,随意指正吧.哎.快考了.纠结啊.社会(平均寿命)Topic:Surveyshowsthatinmanycountriesacrossthepeoplearelivinglongerbutincreasedlifeexpectancyhasmanyimplicationsfortheagingi】
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更新时间:2024-04-20 07:08:04
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雅思大作文求批改,语法什么的,随意指正吧.哎.快考了.纠结啊.

社会(平均寿命)

Topic:Surveyshowsthatinmanycountriesacrossthepeoplearelivinglongerbutincreasedlifeexpectancyhasmanyimplicationsfortheagingindividualsandforsocietyasawhole.whatarethepossibleeffectoflongerlivingforindividualsandsociety?

Thepastfewdecadeshavewitnessedadramaticincreaseinhumanlifespan,whichcanbedirectlyattributedtomedicaladvances,increasinglevelsofeducationandeconomicprosperity.Inthisessay,Iintendtoexploresomepossibleeffectsofrisingaveragelifespan.

Fistofall,itisanundeniablefactthatlongerlifeisinthebestinterestofindividuals.Regardlessofsomepsychologicaloreconomicproblems,whichoccasionallyseenamongoldpeoplewhostayalonewithoutchildrenorlackofessentialsourceofincomes,mostofushavebenefitedgreatlyfromthistrend.Specifically,totheoldpeoplethemselves,theyhavemoretimetopursuittheirideals,aswellasaccompanytheirfamilies.Meanwhile,tothechildren,theyhavemoreenergytostudyandwork,therebycontributingtosociety,forthesakeofwellbeingofthoseoldpeopleintheirfamily.However,aslongerlifewecanhave,itseemsthat,heavierburdenwehavetotake.

Ontheotherhand,thisinescapabletrendalsogiverisetotheproblemofpopulationaginginthewholesociety.Aagingsocietyisasocietylackoflabourforce,wichwouldleadtoaseriesofsevereconsequencesanddiscouragethedevelopmentofhumanity.Moreover,inordertoassistantpublicpeopleandreducingtheirfinancialburden,governmenthavetoallocatealargeamountofmoney,anditisthisfundthatcouldoriginallyusedinmoreessentialareas,suchaseducation,resourceandenergycrisis.Accordingpopularnewssources,thelargestproportionoffinancialchargeInthemostofyearofUnitedStateshasbeenoccupiedbythepensionexpenditure,whichwasdefensespendingtraditionally.

Inconclusion,thisisclearlyaproblemofsuchcomplexitythatnodirectsolutionislikelyinshortterm.However,Iamconvincedthatthemajorsolutiontotheproblemlieswiththeeconomicdevelopmentofsociety.

时锋回答:
  Fistofall,itisanundeniablefactthatAlongerlifeisinthebestinterestofindividuals.Regardlessofsomepsychologicaloreconomicproblems,whichoccasionallyseenamongTHEoldpeoplewhost...
姜凌回答:
  谢谢啊。。这些错误的确是我经常犯的。。写的时候时间紧,还是会不自觉地犯
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